Sacred

A friend recently had to cancel plans with me because her friend’s mother died. After hearing this I replied like the majority of us would, I told her that I was sorry for her loss. She then quickly replied that the woman who passed away was 87 years old and had an absolutely awesome and well lived life. There’s something inside of my friend's response to my condolences that I want to unpack further. 

It’s not that my friend wasn’t saddened by the loss of her friend’s mother, she was just acknowledging that 1) we will all die one day, but also 2) that this person lived a good life and it’s hard to lose yourself in the sadness of another person’s passing when that person lived a long, dynamic existence. I digested this information and translated it further into my own way of thinking. This woman told her story and she told it well. When her time on this earth was done she didn’t leave any chapters behind. Her story was complete. 

I can think of few things that are sadder than a life coming to an end with untold stories to tell or a life being lived without sharing a story with others. One of the cruelest things that can be done to people is to destroy or change their history. When you take away people’s stories, when you take away their truths, you are attacking their souls. I am not a religious person but erasing stories must be a sin against all that makes us human beings. It feels like the definition of an act of evil.

I never shy away from people’s stories. I’m not threatened by the stories of others. There may be times when I don’t have the capacity, energy or desire to listen to their stories, but I would never try to take someone's story away from them. I am wary of people who try to change history or silence the experiences of people, particularly those people who live in the margins of society. 

Luckily stories are hard to kill. You may silence and bury them for a time but they have a way of making their way back to the surface again. Stories are us. We are stories. Every single person who has ever lived on this planet up to the very moment that you are reading this post has a story. Again, I might not be a religious person but that right there, feels sacred to me.