Moving On

Moving on can be tricky business sometimes. I find that moving on tends to be viewed as negative or as the result of something not going the way you expected. Obviously, people move on from relationships, from their jobs, or from one city to another. But people can also move on from grief, from letting fear take control of their lives or they can simply move on from making unhealthy choices. 

Years ago I was in a significant relationship that came to an abrupt end. It was scary because I had no idea what to do with myself. I didn't really want to be alone but I also knew that the relationship had run its course. I had two rough weeks and then, for no reason at all, I just felt better. It was like a weight had been removed from my shoulders. There wasn’t an event that initiated this and I didn’t meet someone new. My fear and my sadness had simply run their course.

Back in October I lost my dog Bernie due to complications with a very aggressive form of cancer. That event inspired one of my first blogs for this website. I’ve been silently grieving her loss ever since. It’s difficult to explain what it’s like when you have to put down a pet that you’ve grown to love and cared for over the years. It was harder than I ever could have imagined. I felt like I was probably done owning pets all together, but last week I pulled up to my office which is located near a park. The park has this expansive field that summer sport camps take place on but it’s also used by neighborhood residents who let their dogs run free on it. When I put my car in park I noticed a woman and her dog walking up to the car that was parked about 10 meters in front of mine. The woman opened her car door, then unhooked the leash from the dog's collar. The dog just sat on the grass, looking up at the women while wagging its tail. She gave it a treat and then the dog happily jumped into the backseat of the car. 

Once again, just like that, I felt a weight lift away from my shoulders. I felt the grief that I’ve been carrying for Bernie get significantly lighter. I don’t know why. I’ve witnessed more than my share of scenes like the one I just described since October, but I never felt like I did at that moment. It was a gift. I imagine a part of me will always feel some sadness when I think about Bernie but I will also feel love and be grateful for our time together.

I hope that anyone and everyone who needs to “move on” from something or someone that’s not serving them well is able to do so safely and intentionally. I hope that you feel lighter in your shoulders and have a little more pep in your step, even if those steps are just metaphorical ones.